• Felicia Carmany

My 30 Year Old Awakening

Updated: Jan 12

An account of turning over my third decade, and how it shook me into taking a leap towards life.

Hey! I'm Fe. Usually pronounced like Fee, but sometimes Fay. Sometimes even "fe". (Imagine letting the "e" just lazily tumble off your tongue.) That's me up there in the photo you just scrolled over, in Costa Rica for my 30th birthday.

It was this trip, in this photo, that I made a conscious decision to change the trajectory of my life.

Let's start from the top.

My 20s.

My 20s were a shit-show, like most people. Don't get me wrong, they were full of travel, moves, a husband (we'll get to that eventually), and lots of mistakes. By age 22 I was living overseas in Sydney. Three years later I was traveling Australia in a van, and by the end of that trip, I was flying back to the USA. From there I landed in Denver (my parents had moved there from the midwest while I was abroad), and then, six months later, in San Diego. I spent five years living in San Diego. I had puddle-jumped my way through this decade, bailing on this job or that one, moving from place to place. With my Hospitality Business degree, and smashing customer service skills, I had managed to accidentally get promoted a few times, and even got offered a seemingly dreamy job with a large co-working company. It turned out to not be my kind of dreamy. By the time I was 29, I had been working for one of the best craft breweries in the USA, and had sailed my way into a General Management position. It was, on paper, the dream. I finally locked down the GM role I had set my sights on in college. I was with the company for a year and a half already (quite the accomplishment for me, getting past the one year mark), and was making a fine salary for the industry. It was smooth sailing, right?

Insert: The dawn of 30 and Costa Rica

About six months before my 30th in July, I knew I wanted to take an international trip. There's something about going abroad that I love so very much, and my beautiful girlfriend Emma doesn't let me forget it. While she is the type of person that can't really comprehend the need to go abroad, she managed to trust me. I convinced her to go to Costa Rica. Luckily for me it was also over HER birthday (strategy, people!).

So to the internet we went.

I found the beautiful coastal town of Santa Teresa. Influenced by bare feet, surf, and yoga, this seemed to be the perfect destination to turn over a new decade. I had been teaching yoga for two years in San Diego, and had started to believe that rather than managing a hospitality industry, I wanted to pursue my life's work. I no longer had the desire to do what I was told I was supposed to do. I wanted to teach yoga. I wanted to bring people together. I wanted to build human connection and change the world, one heart a time. I had the realization that I am capable of achieving my biggest and wildest dreams, and that the world was truly my oyster. I could make my life into anything I wished.

The Aftermath.

After this trip to Costa Rica, I realized that if I wanted to achieve my dream of sharing the art of Yoga & connection, I had to make changes. I had to utilize my resources. There was no way I was going to wake up at 40, turning over another decade, doing the same thing. So I reached out to every spiritual mentor and friend I knew. Mostly women, that had the same desire, spiritual beliefs, and mentality that I did - and were doing it. They weren't just talking about it, but they were truly living it; building not only a career but a life and lifestyle that they believed in. One that they wanted to share with others.

Fast-forward to today. I sit writing this first post from a balcony in Bacalar, Mexico, where I will be for three weeks. I hear the sound of tropical birds in the trees around me. I just assisted in the opening ceremony of an 18-day Yoga Teacher Training, after spending the day bringing 19 students, who have never met each other, together to love, learn, and grow. More on this experience to come.

30 is only my beginning.

30 is my awakening.

30 is how I changed the trajectory of my life.

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